(Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with music or vocals. It’s Easter Sunday, I’m missing the football and I’m at a loose end. All thoughts are my own etc etc).
I am an Everton fan and have had a season ticket since 1997. Clearly, I am certifiable to have willingly paid for so much average/appalling football. Part of what makes the football and Everton so wonderful is Everton twitter: A number of deliciously miserable and hilarious accounts that make it all seem right. One such account (Darren @nsno_83) does two tweets listing 5 good things and 5 shite things about every match. I have half-inched the idea and applied it to this sodding lockdown.
5 Good Things
1. Eating with my son. I so very rarely get to do it because of work and school.
2. Spending time at my house. I am reminded of how much I love it because again, I am so rarely here.
3. Cooking all my meals. I love to cook and it’s saving me a fortune.
4. Reading. When I’m not teaching, I am blasting through the books. Love it.
5. Saturday night Houseparty with a certain group of mates. I have accidentally ended up hammered in my kitchen every Saturday since the lockdown and the call lasts less than an hour. Outstanding work.
5 Shite Things
1. Not being able to see and hug my family and friends. It is fucking awful and cannot be overstated.
2. I am baking loads which means I am going to roll out of this house like one of the people from Wall-E when this is all over.
3. The media peddling the myth that the virus “doesn’t discriminate”. The vast majority of those dying are low paid immigrant key workers of colour. Go and soothe your worried soul with some other bullshit balm. Johnson got it because he is a liability of epic proportions.
4. The football still isn’t back on.
5. I ask every key worker who has served me “Is everyone being nice to you?” and every single one has said, “no, not really”. This boils my blood, especially when Scouse exceptionalism is so potent. Let’s do better aye?
Stay at home, wash your hands, don’t be a shitehawk.
